One Year Ago Today….

On this day, October 19, 2011, 1 year ago, my life was turned upside down and I lost everything. A person with a history of violence, allowed by a system that failed to acknowledge or take any action to curtail his behavior, assaulted me. This had never happened to me before and I hope it never happens again! The day of the assault was like any other day. I was competing an assignment for my Master’s degree and the work was due before midnight. This person came over to hang out and we were going to have dinner once I finished my work. I didn’t know he had been drinking and popping 4 mg Xanax prior to his arrival. Without going into the violent details, he beat me and choked me to within an inch of my life. I did lose consciousness but I am not sure for how long. All I remember is being pushed back by my ancestors and them telling me to fight! Oh and I fought! I fought hard! I was able to get away from him and hold him at bay with a kitchen knife. He kept coming at me and lunged into the knife. That is when he stopped. I called 9-11 and locked myself in the bathroom. Once the police arrived, the tide turned and I was arrested for assaulting him even though I was bloodied, bruised, and couldn’t speak from being choked. I went into respiratory distress from the choking because I have asthma and the police called me a liar and refused me medical treatment. My inhaler and nebulizer were in full view on the countertop and yet, the police still refused me medical treatment. I wear a medical alert necklace and they said it was fake! Yes, my dear people, the police screwed the pooch on this one! I now became the suspect and my attacker was being treated as the victim. By the time someone with a brain became in charge and figured out I truly was the victim it was almost too late to apprehend my attacker from the hospital. But they got him but didn’t keep him for long. No, he was a short but repeat visitor to the system. You are probably wondering how it got this far and how he slipped through? Well, they sent him to anger management classes but that only taught him how to mask his behavior. It taught him all the keywords and actions that enabled him to fool his next victim-me! There were no warning signs or actions to alert me of the impending violence that was to befall me. His actions matched the words coming out of his mouth! I had no reason to doubt the validity of the stories he told or the life he had led. He shared he had a DWI and I checked on it out of curiosity and the system showed he was telling the truth. But his truth was shallow at best. I found out, after the fact, that he had violently attacked two other women. But THAT INFORMATION was absent from the system records because they placed him on deferred probation both times. They sent him to classes to help him be a better person and channel his anger into more constructive ways. But what they failed to do is getting to the root cause of why he was violent toward women. I’m not sure if he didn’t share this information with his counselors or they just overlooked it, but his Father was violent toward his Mother, Sister, and him! In order for my attacker to cope with these demons, he drank and took a lot of medication. Apparently, together! This triggered the violence in him. But no warning of any kind would alert me to how violent he would get or had previously gotten. He told me he was in AA and went to church and he even attended church with me once. I took him at his word and there was nothing to contradict his gentile behavior toward me. There was no public record of his violence to be seen by me or any other unsuspecting woman he would encounter. The information is still not public because the system let him walk away with probation again in spite of the fact I nearly lost my life to his violence. You are probably asking how did he get away with it again? Not because of me! I wanted him to go to prison! He managed to convince those same counselors and the same judge that he was suffering from a mental disorder as if that was supposed to excuse his purposeful choice to drink, take drugs, and beat up women! In spite of my pleas to these same counselors and the same judge NOT to let him out, my words and tears fell on deaf ears. They gave him deferred probation again. I have a protective order but it isn’t worth the paper t is written on. He was ordered to stay far away from me by two different judges yet, he violated the order not once, not twice, but three times! I called the police and they failed to take action. I went to visit the District Attorney (who is a woman and should know better) also failed to take action. Shortly after he was released, he was picked up by another county on previous probation violations stemming from an evading arrest charge that was tied to one of his previous attacks. I thought for a brief moment that just might be done after all! I contacted the District Attorney in this other county and he led me to believe they were going to throw the book at him and give him the 5-10 he was supposed to get for almost killing me. But alas, that too was a humongous fail! Not only did this other county lie to me, but they had already pled him to 1 year time served and let him walk again! I currently have no idea where he is even though as a victim I am supposed to be notified at all times of his movement. I was told this would happen to ensure my safety but I haven’t been notified once! All the information I have is because I bugged the crap out of the court system. Victims of violence have no redress and are treated like they are the criminals. Victim’s rights are 4th fiddle at best. I have never been reimbursed for any of the medical bills associated with this violent act and I probably never will see that money. My insurance covered 2 days of treatment before it expired. The rest was out-of-pocket. As a result of not getting reimbursed, my credit is now shot again from the outstanding medical bills. Thousands of dollars in medical expenses from 4 MRI’s, Ophthalmologist treatments, and medication for pain continue to pile up. By law, I had to present my employer with a copy of the protective order and they fired me the same day. Yes, it is against the law for them to do that but they had deeper pockets than me and I couldn’t find an attorney with balls enough to take my case for the police misconduct or the unlawful termination. I lost my apartment but the saving grace on that is it will not appear on my credit because of the protective order. I was never called to testify and my letter to the court was never read into the record. I was kept out of all of the proceedings even though I was the one being affected by the outcome! I have spent the last year (because time starts over based on events that happen in our lives) trying to rebuild my life. It will never be the same but it is my prayer that it will be better than it was. I have a new career in spite of this persons best efforts to squash my spirit, I have made new friends, started new projects, became addicted to Polyvore.com, and I have a new resolve to get the word out about victims rights or the lack there of! I have previously posted the petition to create a complete registry of violent offenders against women and children on my blog and I hope you will take a second look, sign it, and pass it on to all your friends and family (see below). I pray none of you endure any type of violence nor do any of your loved ones. In the days ahead, I will continue my fight via social media to get action taken towards ending violence against women and children or anyone for that matter. Violence is never the answer but if attacked, defend, defend, and defend yourself!

 

I created a petition to The Texas State House, The Texas State SenateGovernor Rick Perry, The United States House of Representatives, The United States Senate, and President Barack Obama, which says:

“Create a registry and require those who have committed violent acts (assault of any kind including but not limited to physical, sexual, and emotional abuse) against women and children to register including those on a deferred probation status.”

Will you sign this petition? Click here:

http://signon.org/sign/violence-against-women?source=c.em.cp&r_by=4838231

 

 

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